Why I am Better than Ben

Let me just get right in to this. I mean, look at the kid. I’m so much hotter. I’ve also heard Ben does unmentionable things to small children. Don’t even get me started on the goats. Oh dear God, the goats.

In other news, I really enjoy eating cheese. Cheese is also far superior to Ben. This is just one example of the many things cheese and I have in common. For instance, did you know that both cheese and myself are a great source of calcium? It is true. Also, I am birthed from the utter of a mother cow.

Ben once told me he thought I was really cute, and whilst inwardly agreeing with him, I was also terribly, terribly frightened. I typically avoid Ben but he’s always telling me stupid stories. Hold on, I have to go… Ben is telling me about the time he went to the zoo and had some of the best cotton candy he’s ever laid eyes on.